Opposite Personalities & Personal Commonalities

My husband and I are complete opposites:

I am a vegetarian. He is a carnivore.
I am an artist. He is a mechanic.
I am a planner. He is a doer.
I am passionate. He is apathetic.
I am nomadic. He is immoveable.
I like smooth jazz. He likes hard rock.
I am an "on fire" Christian. He has no great conviction one way or another.

Even though Rich and I are opposites, we do not oppose one another. When we got married, we opened the coloring book of life, chose different colored crayons and started on page one. Rich colored inside all the lines, while I took care of the outside of the box. At first, it was frustrating, because we did not understand how the other could miss such a vital part of the picture.

There were times when Rich would get so frustrated with my wonderlust with color that he wanted to strangle me. Rich's slow, methodical and agonizing regard for detail almost put me in the loony bin. In moments of utter exasperation, Rich and I wanted to throw our crayons down and get our own coloring book. But, we honored our promise finish the book and kept coloring with dogged determination. Finally, we completed the first, most difficult page-with no casualties.

During those first few pages, Rich and I took turns stepping away from the book and take a good long look at it. We would ponder the next color or let the other have their way and color around it when we came back to it. Each page got easier and we fell into a natural rhythm that got the job done with peaceful precision.

We refused to oppose one another and our opposite personalities began to reveal our commonalities. This has been proven true through our common love of nature, outdoors and watching things grow. My strengths in planning and the ability to see the "big picture" combined with Rich's uncanny mechanical genius was the catalyst to developing our property into the urban "Mother Nurture Homestead".

Rich and I are two peas in a pod when it comes to gardening and working on our microfarm. Put us in the dirt on a sunny day and you've got two of the happiest people this side of heaven!

Our appreciation and respect for each others opposite personalities has revealed our personal commonalities!

Spouses Who "Don't"

Here is a brief list of current and common sexual orientations with definitions:

Heterosexual: Male/Female sexual attraction
Homosexual: Same gender sexual attraction
Bisexual: Sexual attraction for both genders

Asexual: Someone who does not experience sexual attraction, regardless of gender.
This group can be hetero-, homo-, or bi-sexual.

A friend of mine (who is a lesbian) came to my office very upset and frustrated. She began telling me about her partnership with an asexual. The pain of the relationship had become intolerable. She said, "My partner refuses to understand my needs for physical intimacy. She can't understand why I get so angry and frustrated!" The relationship ended. Badly.

I have another friend (who is heterosexual) married to an asexual man. She states, "We were intimate for the first year of marriage. Then, he quit. Nothing, except when he thinks I might be thinking about leaving him. He perks up for a few minutes." She is still in this marriage because she's a Christian and she "knows he isn't cheating on me." It's been almost 10 years since my friend experienced any type marital intimacy. She's tried EVERYTHING and ANYTHING! Her frustration is palpable. She says, "The pain and rejection is so embedded in me, that, if by some miracle he did change: would I care?"

According to AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network), asexuality is a sexual orientation. They further explain, "Asexual people have the same emotional needs as anyone else, and like in the sexual community we vary widely in how we fulfill those needs. Some asexual people are happier on their own, others are happiest with a group of close friends. Other asexual people have a desire to form more intimate romantic relationships, and will date and seek long-term partnerships. Asexual people are just as likely to date sexual people as we are to date each other."

Heterosexuals seek other heterosexuals. Homosexuals seek others of the same orientation. Bisexuals, well, my opinion of them isn't very respectful, so, I'll spare you my loathing of this group. However, asexuals can claim ALL other orientations! "Asexual people who experience attraction will often be attracted to a particular gender, and will identify as gay, bi, or straight." (AVEN)

If they intend to maintain an asexual lifestyle, then, WHY do they seek sexuals?

An asexual who goes into a relationship with a sexual is an abuser.

The selfishness of this group of people blows my mind . Especially, if they call themselves Christian and marry within the Church. This adds a dynamic to the relationship that a non-Christian couple don't typically face. The Christian man or woman has Biblical principles to take into consideration before leaving and divorcing a spouse.

It's very unlikely the asexual will "cheat". They're content without physical intimacy. A chronic history of headaches, tireds and not tonights are worn out excuses for this group of selfish men and women. The "Christian" asexual puts their spouse at risk of adultery, lust and depression. I can see the opportunity for sin swing wide open like a screen door without a spring!

For the sexual Christian, it's doubly difficult to justify leaving an asexual partner. Because, the only real problem is the lack of physical intimacy in the relationship. Christian asexuality is a form of spiritual entrapment from which there is no scriptural escape.

"...for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman..." Romans 1:26-27